UK Temperature Breaks 100°F Record
Highest temperature recorded at Heathrow, just behind jet taking off

Microsoft Request Users Don’t Download Leaked Messenger 6
“It’s just as unstable as the last one” explains spokesman

Arnold Schwarzenegger Runs For Governor Of California
President Bush auditions as two-bit action hero

Fearon To Sue Tony Martin
Tony Martin to shoot Fearon again

Spokesman Apologises For ‘Walter Mitty’ Remark
Government likens spokesman to ‘Roger the Dodger’

Study: E-mail Forwarded Five Times Can Reach Anyone On The ’Net
Except Hotmail users

Pope Prays For Rain
Blair prays for nationwide memory loss

Cosmonaut Marries From Orbit Via Mir Videolink
Affleck and J’Lo to conduct entire relationship in this fashion

‘Pop Idol’ Returns
Record number of TV sets thrown in bin

Prince William Spears Antelope During Kenya Holiday
Comedian promises never to sneak about at Royal dos again

Oldest Ever Spider Silk Found
“Proof dinosaurs didn’t dust properly”

Government Proposes New University Application System
Students propose new government

News Briefs Stories we can’t cover up

KTAB News Full-fat coverage of all the major news

Editorial Commentary from Bernard, the Editor

Also available in

Coming soon!!