Thursday 20th March 2003 Issue 13 (unlucky for some: the Iraqis, Americans, British, Spanish, Kuwaitis...)

SPECIAL EDITION

It’s official: the fannying about is over. The war has begun. The UN is powerless to stop the new face of international morality from squeezing its spots in the mirror of Western democracy. So, here’s a special pus-filled issue of Passenger, celebrating the first success of Yank foreign policy this Millennium.

Oh What A Lovely War The stoppers have been pulled, and in a rather predictable fashion, there’s fighting in Iraq. Well, duh. KTAB campaign map Food Fight It’s a war of nutrition: who can give their foodstuffs a name most insulting to the enemy? Vital Statistics Analysis puts together a dossier on Iraq. Without referring to any documents at all, let alone ten-year-old ones!

ADVERTISEMENTS For sale: The British Stock Market. £5 ono. Reductions if no-one wants it by the time the war ends. Wanted: Ideas for how we can get ourselves out of this hole! Now we’ve done this war special, what if nothing happens in the next fortnight save more bloody Iraq? Are there any more Iraq jokes we’ve missed? E-mail us with suggestions!! ADVERTISEMENTS

News Briefs Stories that didn’t make the ‘Y-front’ page

Dear Ethel... Passenger’s resident agony aunt

Editorial Words of wisdom from Bernard