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Sunday 20th April 2003; Issue 15

A man with a red handbag Budget in the Brown
On April 9th, Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown unveiled the ‘2003 Budget’. Like all previous budgets, it looks good on paper. Unlike previous budgets, the paper was a tenner which represented transport spending.

A big thig being pulled overToppled
The war in Iraq appears to be pretty much over: but the looting, bitterness, American-bashing and complete lack of promised food aid has only just begun.
Neeeyown!Supersonic Bust
Both British Airways and Air France are withdrawing their Concorde aircraft from service on the grounds that they’re “Not made by Boeing, and humiliatingly fast compared to a 747.”
PERSONALS
Solvent Virus, 31, seeking host for possible exchange of bodily fluids and DNA, for loving relationship and three million children. Wanting to settle down in humans after many years infecting chickens. Asian fetish. GSOH.

Easy Government Minister seeks credibility for possible short-term relationship before promotion. Fee negotiable.

Quiet man, loves opera & fine arts, seeks like-minded woman for friendship and donkey sex in an alley behind the disco.
PERSONALS

Some undiesNews Briefs
News nearly nude
Dear Ethel, I have a problem. Love, Anon.Dear Ethel...
Passenger’s resident agony aunt
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