Monday, 13 December, 0047 GMT

Editorial

Good morning from KTAB News.

First, an apology. KTAB News has not been updated since August, following the frenzied attack of the office by our Sports Editor, currently residing in HMP Parkhurst.

Sadly, this attack led to the deaths or resignations of many of our best and most noble journalists, leaving KTAB News with a staff of myself, the work experience girl, and two new journalists, both of whom immediately ran off to university.

Now that they're back, they've got all keen for the holidays (before they jet off back to various all-night whisky drinking sessions) they're pressuring me into writing a story about all this kerfuffle in the Middle East.

Saddam Hussein, it appears, has been captured, thus ending the most lengthy, most detailed, and most expensive manhunts in history apart from the ongoing searches for Osama "September 11th" Bin Laden, The Gunman on the Grassy Knoll and Elvis.

The USA is rightly jubilant, as the capture represents their first major success in the War on Terror, especially since their prior acheivements have previously been limited to the toppling of minor opressive governments and the demonstration of tremendous zeal and trust in the hunt for WMD and AFF hardware that actually works.

So, here you are; a lovely story about the capture, the reactions to the capture, and the possible future for that elusive, fat mass-slaughterer Saddam Hussein. Enjoy it!

Love and Kisses,
Bernard, the Editor.

Next Year: Osama Bin Laden Special Edition!